Ok, so, I had to go pick up this order that was supposed to be signed when I got there, only it wasn't. I had to walk it to the courtroom and ask the judge to sign it. I freaked out a bit and called the attorney for whom I was working. I had to talk quietly, as I was in the echoing marble hallways of the courthouse.
"I have to take it to the judge," I hissed. "What do I do if he asks me questions?"
"Ok, here's the deal," she began, and proceeded to detail the case to me in case I got questioned about it.
I went over it in my mind, and by the time I got done, I was pounding a lectern like Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Meanwhile, in real life, I dropped off the order with the clerk and was told to come back to pick it up. "The judge has a jury trial," she said, "so come back in about thirty minutes and we'll have it ready for you."
Hmpf. No grandstanding for me. No applause. Just waiting on a bench for a signature. Waiting. And waiting and waiting and waiting. And waiting. For hours, literally, for the lawyers to stop talking so I could get in there and get my signed order.
Finally, I went into the courtroom to wait, thinking that maybe my presence would speed things along. So I sat inside and waited. And waited and waited and waited oh my god with the waiting. The bailiff presented the judge, who looked like he was about 178 years old, with my order and he shrugged it off. He announced he didn't have time to read it as he had plans to go out of town. Out of town! Without signing my order? Nuh-uh.
The bailiff brought the order over to me. "He can't sign it tonight. Sorry. Come back Monday."
"Monday? I can't wait till Monday," I replied. "We requested this be expedited. It really needs to be signed today."
"Listen, I understand the Judge has to go now, but, please, if there is any way he can sign this tonight, I'd really appreciate it. You see, our client-"
"Sorry. The Judge is leaving. You'll have to come back Monday."
"Please. Please. Can you please just ask him if he can just take a few minutes to look it over?" I begged.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." He wouldn't budge.
"But we need to get this signed right away. Our client is trying to -"
"I'm sorry, ma'am. The judge is a busy man, he doesn't have time to read your order. I told you to come back Monday. Now, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the courtroom. Now."
It's not like I got escorted out by my elbows, but there it is. I got thrown out of court.
I'd like to say I left there with a signed order, but I didn't. That stuff only happens on television. We didn't have to wait until Monday, though. I went the next day with some backup (0ne of my bosses) and we got the order signed by another judge. It took a couple of hours and there was some hoop-jumping, but we ultimately got what we needed.
And I got to flirt with the Ex Parte clerk. But that's another story for another day.