Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In which I face a moral dilemma. That makes me itch.

Right, right, right, right, riiiiiight.  I have a blog.  Sorry.  I've been preoccupied with this:

A friend gave me some sample sizes of this and I LOVE it.  It smells wonderful, feels great and doesn't irritate my skin, which is a real issue for me lately.  Seems like everything I try makes me itch like crazy.  So it's the perfect shower gel.  EXCEPT:

I know the image is blurry (really, I was trying not to shake, however, I apparently have no control over my limbs) but, yes, that price tag does say $28.00.  TWENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS.  Twenty-eight dollars for body wash?  Seriously?  I mean, maybe fifteen is ok, if it's really good.  Dove is only four or five dollars (makes me itch) and the Whole Foods grapefruitty kind is about the same, maybe a little less (smells great and makes me itch), so I think that twenty-eight is, er, high.  But it doesn't make me itch!

I knew it was too much when I bought it on Sunday, but I was possessed by the thought that I was rich (someone remind me to tell my therapist about the delusions) and I just went ahead and bought it.  Because it smells so good!  And doesn't make me itch!

When I got home I put it in the shower for Monday morning, but then I heard my dad's voice saying "live simply so others can simply live" (someone remind me to tell my therapist about the voices) and was gripped by guilt.  I removed the bottle from the shower and placed it on my dressing table, where it has been staring at me ever since.  

"C'mon,"  it whispers.  "Aren't you going to use me?  I smell so good.  And no itching."

"You are TOO EXPENSIVE," I respond.  "I am taking you BACK.  The END."

"Then why have I been sitting here for three days?  You can't let me go.  Besides, who is going to pay those poor kids in Taiwan who make my bottle?  And the marketing people who made you buy me?  They have hungry children.  What about the people who pick the lemons they squeeze into me to make me smell SO GOOD?  How are they going to get paid?"

And then I go turn up the re-runs of House to drown out the taunting of the body wash. But I can still here it whispering "I don't make you iiiiiiiiiitchhhhhhhh."  (Someone remind me to tell my therapist about the hallucinations.)

Seriously, I have to take it back right?  I do.  I will.


But, now, what to do about these?

They were $27.90.

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