You are a bad, bad boy. With a heart of gold, though. I am really pulling for you and Blair to get together in the long run, but in the meantime? CALL ME.
Confidential to M:
Please stop emailing me after work hours because I feel obligated to answer even though I am not on the clock and that really annoys me.
Confidential to Self:
Stop checking your email after work hours.
Confidential to dooce.com:
Congratulations on the new baby! In the past, I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I think you are a very clever, witty writer. I even posted a link below in my blogroll (now removed). I'm pretty peeved at you right now, though, considering you have been blogging about preparing for the baby, whom all of your readers have been anticipating meeting, and now you are holding off on photos and the baby's name.
Now, listen: if you and your family want a little privacy, I totally get that. And I think even if you do blog about your life, you are entitled to keep an event like this private for a little while. But don't tweet all through your labor, announce that the baby has arrived and that you are going to announce the name soon and then STILL don't post anything twenty four hours later. Either post a photo and a name, or say "hey, we want to share this with you, but give us a little bit of privacy for a few days first." You know we are waiting. DON'T refuse to show the readers a photo of your baby and instead give us a pic of that shitty green jello and then post that everyone is "annoying". Your behavior, Heather, is annoying. You are being manipulative and incredibly disrespectful to your very loyal and supportive readers.
Confidential to Jon: CALL ME, YOU TALL DRINK OF TEQUILA.