In which I am honest

So, I haven't posted in about a hundred years, which means my friend Scott is currently hiding his rage at me right now.  The truth is, there are reasons I have not written anything, which are as follows:

1) I can't write about work.  It is a giant chunk of my life, filled with ridiculously good stories that I CAN'T TELL and that irritates me.  Seriously, I've got some doozies, but I signed a piece of paper that said I wouldn't, so I can't.  I could write about the rest of my life, but:

2) The rest of my life is pretty damn boring.  What am I going to write about, the giant spider I found in its web on my blinds this morning?  That's about all I have to say about that.

3) I am lazy.  I admit it.  It is very taxing to be creative, and it really cuts into the time I have allotted for watching  Farmer Wants a Wife.  I have to have priorities, you know.