In which I consciously choose self-torture

Oprah is doing a 21 day vegan cleanse and I decided to join in. No animal products, no caffeine, sugar, alcohol or gluten.  I know it is a bit extreme, but I have been struggling really hard with my weight for the last few months, dieting during the week and then bingeing on the weekends.  It seems so out of control that it feels like it is some kind of disease, the symptoms of which include eating an 1800 calorie quesadilla and sitting in front of the tv with my head all the way inside a bag of candy.  It's tragic, really.

I know that it is sick to say it, but sometimes I think it would be better if I were anorexic.  At least I'd be thin. But I know it would just be a different side of the same problem.  The eating disorder I really wish I could cultivate is exercise bulimia.  It seems like a reasonable disorder, you get to eat, and then you get to exercise.  A lot.  The only problem with it is I hate exercising, so I suppose that renders my candidacy moot.    

Another reason I wanted to do the cleanse is to see if I might have some food allergies.  I think that I may  have a wheat sensitivity, because when I eat a lot of bread and other wheaty things, I tend to get very congested the next day and also my eczema acts up.  Charming, no?  Maybe this cleanse will help me figure that out.  Or maybe it will drive me into a family size bag of Cheetos and a bottle of Prosecco.  We'll see.