In which I smell good

Thwarted.

What, you can't read that?  Fine.  It says: "We gladly issue a store credit for unused, unopened product returned within 14 days of purchase accompanied by a receipt."  So, if I wanted to return the body wash, which I did, I really did, I could only get store credit.  And if I was going to get store credit, then I would use it for the body wash, because who wants to spend $28 on body wash?  That's ridiculous.

I kept the body wash, but returned the shoes and also the new lip gloss and lip pencil that I got at Clinique, which I am unfortunately allergic to.  So I really ended up in the black on this whole deal.  Sort of.  But I smell good!  And I don't itch!